Currently working on: Digging out from under the holidays
Mood: Eager for daylight
I have a friend who’s experienced more than her fair share of life’s hard knocks. (I’m not sure how much a fair share would be, exactly, but I’m pretty sure she got hosed.) One of her favorite sayings is “The universe gives you the chance to make the same mistake over and over. Until you don’t.”
Oh, I could look at it as tough love, I suppose, one of those “learning moments.” But sometimes it’s hard to tell what the lesson is. So at the end of every year, I like to look back, give the universe a long, hard stare, and try to figure out what it was thinking (and what it was trying to make me think about) while it stares back at me.
Because I dabble in the Tarot, I like to use my cards to give some narrative to the year that has passed. I have a deck based on Greek mythology, because those were some of my favorite stories when I was a kid. I draw a three-card spread, which is often used in understanding influences at play before taking any particular path, which seems to me useful in looking back at paths chosen.
So what exactly was the universe trying to teach me? Did I get it? Can I move on from this lesson to the next?
I pulled Temperance, The Chariot and the Knight of Swords:
Temperance (Iris, goddess of the rainbow): Iris was a kind and merciful goddess who represents the fluid adjustment of feeling and emotion with the ultimate goal of harmony. She was also a message bearer of the gods.
The Chariot (Ares, god of war): With his two horses pulling in opposite directions, Ares represents aggressive instincts guided by the will of consciousness, and suggests conflict and struggle can result in a stronger personality when faced with strength and containment.
Knight of Swords (the Warrior Twins, Castor and Polydeuces, one mortal and one divine): An augury of sudden change and mercurial energy which breaks apart the ordinary patterns of life, often with callous disregard for common sense or kindness.
Oh, I love it when my cards tell me what I already know. It was a crazy year for me. (Duh.) I saw my dream of publication come true when I finally got to hold a printed copy of SEDUCED BY SHADOWS. At the same time, I suffered through the flailing death throes of my day job. (Luckily I’m good at imagining the living dead, so I’ve managed to keep my job lumbering along — minus some body parts — in a gruesome caricature of employment.) I’ve stretched my personal boundaries from painfully introverted bookworm to painfully social bookworm-becoming-butterfly. I started — and failed at — a weight-lifting regimen. (Yeah, yeah, I actually started it again tonight; stupid New Years resolutions.)
Clearly, it’s been a year of more uproar than balance, which is obvious if you weigh the three warrior boys and their three wild horses against the pretty Iris. Still, I think I did a reasonable job of adjusting on the fly and keeping my feet under me. So I’ll keep the reminder of steady Iris going forward (kindness, mercy, balance) since I bet when I pull my full Celtic Cross spread for the new year, I think I’ll be seeing more of those conflict cards.
Besides, in the pitcher she carried, Iris also held the waters that filled storm clouds. She could dump a bucket of cold water on those hot-headed boys at any time — if she decided to stop playing nice. That’s a good reminder too.
How about you? Did you come away with a lesson from 2009 you’d like to share? If you want a three-card draw from my Greek mythology deck, just ask and we’ll see what the cards have to say to you.